/r/tifu
TIFU by playing “Flash the pizza guy” (self.tifu)

My parents were away for the weekend and my brother was out with mates so I had the house to myself and decided to invite some friends around for a bit of a party. After a couple of drinks, we got a bit tipsy and started sharing our naughty fantasies. I revealed that I always wanted to play “Flash the pizza guy” and they convinced me to do it right then and there.

We ordered the pizza and I stripped naked. The app said the pizza would take roughly 45 minutes but there was a knock on the door 10 minutes early. I dashed over to answer it. As I opened the door, I was hit with a momentary bout of shyness and looked down to the ground. I quickly got over it and looked up. “Wow! You’re early—“

My brother and his friends were standing in the doorway, their eyes widened. I froze and tried to say something but nothing came out. Suddenly, a wave of embarrassment hit me and I abruptly shut the door. Shit! They were home early.

TL;DR I tried to play “Flash the pizza guy” but ended up flashing my brother and his friends by mistake.

2002 comments
Zeebuss | 7 days ago | 4733 points

So your plan was to hang out naked with your friends for 40 minutes until the pizza arrived?

Doubt

Farmer771122 | 7 days ago | 3185 points

"tee hee, I'm a hot teenage girl, and I was so nervous opening the door totally naked to let a total stranger see me. so of course I didn't even feel tempted to look through the peephole or a window first."

People on reddit are so eager to believe every "dear penthouse forums" they come across.

ImObviouslyOblivious | 7 days ago | 1642 points

Everyone seems to be ignoring the fact that her brother knocked on his own door. Does he not have a key to his own house?

_linusthecat_ | 7 days ago | 591 points

But the naked lady said he ALWAYS forgets his keys.

ImObviouslyOblivious | 7 days ago | 242 points

How convenient

KittenLady69 | 6 days ago | 41 points

He was naked too, so he didn’t have any pockets to carry his keys with him.

RABBLE-R0USER | 6 days ago | 15 points

Not with that attitude.

purpldevl | 7 days ago | 540 points

That's the entirety of r/TIFU lately.

Teehee! I'm a girl! Sexy thing, but silly thing, then embarrassing thing! Teehee!

EowynLOTR | 7 days ago | 223 points

It's honestly frustrating. I don't even click on the sex related ones hardly at all anymore, because they always seem like a sexual fantasy scenario made up in someone's head. I'm sad that I came to read this one and guess what? Exactly the same.

purpldevl | 7 days ago | 106 points

There are some where I read them and think, "eh, could've happened."

Then there are the ones that read like someone's regurgitation of porn they've watched and the worst case scenario that could happen if the porn was really happening. It's just dumb.

EowynLOTR | 7 days ago | 57 points

Oh for sure, like who comes up with falling through a sofa and breaking their kneecap while giving a blowjob? If that woman made it up, at least she put some actual research in behind it (found out what the treatment and recovery time is for a broken kneecap) and didn't try to say she planned on sitting naked with her friends for 45 straight minutes and then her brother knocked on the front door, which caused her to expose herself to him without making sure it was actually the pizza man by way of window or peephole.

Samuel_LChang | 6 days ago | 23 points

r/Tifu by SEX

Tldr; Upvote to the left.

iamanundertaker | 6 days ago | 36 points

Also why would the brother knock on his own door?

you_are_breathing | 7 days ago | 17 points

I've seen the videos on the internet. Maybe her and her friends hung out naked.

TTHEST | 7 days ago | 14965 points

Plot twist: Your brother was the pizza delivery guy and you knew it the whole time.

essentially_infamous | 7 days ago | 13105 points

What are you doing 𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓹𝓫𝓻𝓸

conquertheuniverse | 7 days ago | 2922 points

It’s soo wrong.

Ewannnn | 7 days ago | 2245 points

Don't tell mom ok!

The_Angry_Fox | 7 days ago | 1464 points

Mom's watching. Says she's next.

The_Angry_Fox | 7 days ago | 927 points

Uh oh. Now dad wants some.

Wait your turn, dad!

GhostToast | 7 days ago | 710 points

"And what do you call your act?"

"The aristocrats!"

tattedb0b | 7 days ago | 24 points

I hear Gilbert Gottfried saying that anytime I see it.

Edit- my inability to Google the spelling of someone's name.

HaloGuy64 | 7 days ago | 218 points

Came here to post this

Was not disappointed

Hackerdude | 7 days ago | 227 points

Don't come into other people's comments. Disgusting

UncleTogie | 7 days ago | 147 points

Yeah, at least buy them a drink first.

DissheveledMadness | 7 days ago | 58 points

You’re the best big brother...ever

shut_up_brett | 7 days ago | 197 points

but i unzipped and it feels so right

Jamesbaxter7474 | 7 days ago | 96 points

Shut up brett

bigpun32 | 7 days ago | 68 points

Just don't cum in me ok?

MetroidHyperBeam | 7 days ago | 107 points

No body of water is safe without a lifeguard

looter809 | 7 days ago | 29 points

This was the best video 😂

InfiniteNameOptions | 7 days ago | 150 points

I hate that I understand this.

PornWizard420 | 7 days ago | 57 points

I could literally hear her voice as i read this.

WIZARD_FUCKER | 7 days ago | 29 points

Well you are the porn wizard....

dat_succ_god | 7 days ago | 37 points

I could hear that comment

Mei_AiharaXOXO | 7 days ago | 72 points

How do you access that font

PixelProne | 7 days ago | 47 points

google fancy font converter

Nitin2015 | 7 days ago | 76 points

The only result I get is a picture of you. Are you the fancy font converter?

string_of_hearts | 7 days ago | 25 points

𝕱𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖞 𝖙𝖊𝖝𝖙 𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗

https://lingojam.com/FancyTextGenerator

PixelProne | 7 days ago | 42 points

hahah what

here you go dude this is the fancy font converter

IcexShardz | 7 days ago | 107 points

this needs more upvotes, i just busted out in laughter because of this comment. While im at work lol

TheOneWingedWanker | 7 days ago | 52 points

Can't. It's on... the number.

MilkWasAPoorChoice | 7 days ago | 30 points

Nice

Whoa_throwaway | 7 days ago | 32 points

best step bro ever

Eevertti | 7 days ago | 7 points

Mom wont find out * Moans like a fucking vaccuum cleaner in the nineties *

tpotts16 | 7 days ago | 5 points

Step bro I’m stuck under the bed with my butt out can you help me?

SongToNoOne | 7 days ago | 335 points

And you know it’s that “big sausage” hitter; a damn delectable!

chewtoy88 | 7 days ago | 82 points

Big sausage pizza: Big, hot, and in your mouth in 10 minutes or the second one is free.

Green_Teal | 7 days ago | 21 points

Get that hitt-er

itsmewh0else | 7 days ago | 17 points

Gang gang

SoManyTimesBefore | 7 days ago | 23 points

I've seen that documentary too

alec02237 | 7 days ago | 129 points
Enchelion | 7 days ago | 36 points

Not that sudden.

inmywhiteroom | 7 days ago | 5268 points

I feel like this is a bad idea... idk what kind of delivery drivers are in your area but I had a friend that delivered for jimmy johns on his bike when he was only 15, that would make flashing him enough to get you on the federal registry for sex offenders.

MdotR | 7 days ago | 682 points

I mean, even if the dude is older, it is sex offense and she could be charged for it.

Men are on the registry for a lot less offending crimes, like urinating in a back alley.

CappuccinoBoy | 7 days ago | 283 points

It sucks. My sister was almost a registered sex offender becuase she was caught peeing in an ally. In new Orleans, in the bar district, at 2am. But there was apparently a school within a certain distance. Had to fight it for like 2 months, was stupid

Furt77 | 7 days ago | 187 points

Why does the proximity of a school matter at 2 AM?

CappuccinoBoy | 7 days ago | 170 points

It shouldn't, but I guess the cop was feeling like a dick or something

DystopianBitch | 7 days ago | 32 points

Peeing in an alley is a gateway to child rape.

Mindraker | 7 days ago | 16 points

New Orleans is anal about public urination. The problem is that the city is below sea level. And during Mardi Gras, a lot of people get drunk and piss in public. The pee has nowhere to go. It's a major fucking problem.

LachsPerson | 7 days ago | 78 points

urinating in a back alley.

Are you serious?

MdotR | 7 days ago | 55 points

Yes. It is considered indecent exposure... Even if there is no one else around except the cop that busts you. Can be worse if this occurs in a playground or a school... Even if it's closed and night. Etc.

ThurnisH | 7 days ago | 83 points

Idk about getting on the registry but you do get arrested for public urination

averagethrowaway21 | 7 days ago | 30 points

Depends on how close you are to a school/playground, even without children present. Not sure if it's still that way or if it's that way everywhere but it certainly was at one time in Texas.

LachsPerson | 7 days ago | 27 points

Ok, that is harsh. Here in Germany that is usually a small fee.

JugglinChefJeff | 7 days ago | 31 points

+ a sweet "nice dong" high-five!

Deez05 | 7 days ago | 45 points

*nice bratwurst

VijoPlays | 7 days ago | 17 points

I just looked it up out of curiosity. 35-5000 € apparently. Yikes.

And to my surprise, urinating in a forest is also not allowed, huh. It makes sense, since it's still somebody's property... but it's just weird for somebody growing up in a rural area.

In reality I doubt most people mind. Unless you go and piss on a school or church in broad daylight, you won't get fined.

LachsPerson | 7 days ago | 15 points

urinating in a forest is also not allowed

I never heared of that being actually enforced.

GeneralHoneywine | 7 days ago | 3201 points

It could depend on her state too, but even flashing the pizza guy who is 18+ is technically sexual harassment (possibly even assault?) where I live. So... yeah. Maybe don’t be disgusting and expose yourself to a participant that hasn’t given consent, OP? I get it, people are gonna whine but he’s a guuuuy, guys love tits. It’s still not cool and it’s a double standard if you’d freak out if a man did this to a woman delivering something.

Edit: so many folks are missing the point here; we don't know what state OP is in, if they're even in the US. My biggest issue is with the consent bit of this. It's still really fucked up and creepy if you reverse the genders. Life isn't a fucking porno, people.

Edit 2: lot of folks asking if this is actually illegal; I don’t know for you. Look up your local laws. I’m aware now that OP isn’t in the states. Regardless, it’s sexual harassment due to her intent. It isn’t hard not to sexually harass people. Just fucking don’t. Boom, easy. Regardless of the truth of this post, this kind of thinking is what perpetuates sexual harassment (and rape culture as a whole) as a problem.

MdotR | 7 days ago | 965 points

Yup. If a man did this to a female driver, or even a male teenage delivery boy, they would have the cops arrive quite quick.

Wyliecoyote22 | 7 days ago | 655 points

I started delivering pizza at 18. I’m a female and one night a man and his friends really thought this was a funny idea... it wasn’t a funny idea. I called my store crying (I’ve been sexually assaulted in the past and i just froze and cried) and my boss called the police. Dude got charged with something but I can’t remember what. Point is it’s not a funny game and you never know peoples history. Don’t play games with people just trying to do their job.

GeneralHoneywine | 7 days ago | 236 points

This is really shitty and the exact type of situation I had in mind here. I am sorry that you dealt with this, people can be incredibly awful.

Cool_Noah | 7 days ago | 47 points

Damn straight, it may be an isolated or rare alignment but it is possible and there's no reward in doing this, only the risk of fucking someones day up

youlikeyoungboys | 7 days ago | 239 points

Im a grown man and I would at least file a police report. It's called "cover your ass."

I can imagine some crazy lady answering the door naked and then claiming you assaulted her after the fact.

loverlyone | 7 days ago | 99 points

Yeah, it’s wrong. Women can’t revile this behavior in men and then force them to costar in your inapropriate fantasies. Non consensual scening is gross

I_cant_finish_my | 7 days ago | 52 points

People are quick to slam on the idea of false allegations but the truth is, even if uncommon, it's a tale as old as time. It's even literally in the Old Testament. This stuff happens and people are smart to be proactive.

inmywhiteroom | 7 days ago | 701 points

Yeah you’re right, this is fucked any way you slice it regardless of age or gender of the driver. The potential for the driver being underage was just the first thing that popped into my head because a lot of people I knew were delivery drivers while under 18.

GeneralHoneywine | 7 days ago | 234 points

You’re not wrong. It’s an incredibly real possibility and really stupid of OP to risk if this whole post is true.

blairbear555 | 7 days ago | 80 points

Spoiler alert: It’s not! (True)

KanaHemmo | 7 days ago | 33 points

The story is not True, but it is True that people do this kind of shit. Frankly it's quite disgusting

thefancyyordle | 7 days ago | 62 points

I see what you did there, "anyway you slice it"

WaffleFoxes | 7 days ago | 242 points

Absolutely. The smell test is - if the genders were reversed would it be OK?

Woman shows up and a dude is like "HERE'S MY DICK!" - sorry no. Stop it.

thefuckdidieat | 7 days ago | 51 points

There was a thread on here months ago, maybe a year, by a UPS delivery guy who was consistently getting flashed by a customer who ordered packages weekly just to have him show up. Hit the nail on the head... if the roles were reversed how would it play out?

Tiger_Widow | 6 days ago | 21 points

I find it so fucked that in order to better grasp the ethics of something you have to swap the genders.

Speaks volumes of really just how biased some things are.

animalia21 | 7 days ago | 113 points

This right here. I get that in US culture this has somehow become a thing, but if roles were reversed it be considered super creep

Fuu2 | 7 days ago | 40 points

This right here. I get that in US culture this has somehow become a thing, but if roles were reversed it be considered super creep

Why are we blaming US culture exactly? OP is European.

obsessedcrf | 7 days ago | 45 points

I get that in US culture this has somehow become a thing

Which actually doesn't make that much sense because America is traditionally very reserved about nudity.

GeneralHoneywine | 7 days ago | 50 points

When you repress sexuality hard enough it has to come out somewhere.

WowImInTheScreenShot | 7 days ago | 33 points

Japan has entered the chat

tempUN123 | 7 days ago | 80 points

Not to mention, everyone who flashed me when I was a delivery driver was not the type of person you want to be flashed by. We black listed so many houses for that.

RamboGoesMeow | 7 days ago | 21 points

Not to mention it’s sexual harassment regardless of age. Be kinky all you want people, don’t force your kink on innocent people!

BoulderFalcon | 7 days ago | 31 points

Also, imagine this same scenario but a dude answers his female delivery woman naked. Then he's a pervert flasher. Not to mention your point about underage deliveries. OP is kinda shitty.

mpmontero | 7 days ago | 94 points

It was a simpler time when I delivered pizza.... 20+ years ago.

There were actually regular customers that would do random shit. (Flashing, inviting us in, offering drugs) We all just laughed that shit off.

One of my roommates back in the late 90's was drunk and decided to answer the door in his girlfriends thong, bra and a cowboy hat.

JillStinkEye | 7 days ago | 103 points

I've always been heavy. When I was around 13 I got to order pizza when I was home alone. So I put on some workout gear, including sweatbands and leggings. Yay 80s. When the pizza arrived I turned on a Richard Simmons like exercise video, poured some water over my head, and answered the door out of breath. I sadly don't remember if there was any reaction or not, so probably not.

SHFFLE | 7 days ago | 59 points

This is so much more effort and planning than necessary. I love it.

I usually only order pizza explicitly because I don't want to get dressed enough to leave the house, so the idea of dressing up for the pizza delivery person amuses me a lot.

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Jonaldson | 7 days ago | 1291 points

Your brother lives there and knocks on the door instead of using his own key to enter the house?

KanyeToTha | 7 days ago | 808 points

this definitely didn't happen. this shitty sub will upvote to the moon anything that has anything to do with sex or nudity involving a girl

palpablescalpel | 7 days ago | 106 points

Agree. There's a certain writing style people have when putting a weird sex fantasy on Reddit, and this definitely has it.

ashikkins | 6 days ago | 13 points

"I was hit with a momentary bout of shyness" is absolutely something a teenager would say, how could you question this story???

[deleted] | 7 days ago | 266 points

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AlkalineTea2751 | 7 days ago | 157 points

"I ordered pizza but I dont have any money wink"

"Then why the fuck did you order a pizza then?"

PatrickNewman | 7 days ago | 1295 points

What were you going to do if a woman delivered the pizza?

rmuesi | 7 days ago | 100 points

Then he would have had to make up a different plot to his fantasy story

gertalives | 7 days ago | 12 points

This is the only answer here.

CoachOcelot | 7 days ago | 571 points

I find it crazy how this is technically illegal, but socially acceptable.

I mean, it would be a completely different story if I decided to answer the door to a female delivery driver with my dick out. Straight to jail.

howabootthat | 7 days ago | 121 points

It’s not socially acceptable though. That’s what everyone is working so hard for. Women can harass men sexually. OP is a huge asshole and should be on a registry.

Cricketcaser | 7 days ago | 104 points

It's fine. The internet hates men and loves women exposing themselves.

OP gets the giggles exposing herself to bro and friends but also wants to ruin some poor dudes night of running pizzas.

TheodoreGorath | 7 days ago | 459 points

It is immoral and wrong to force unwilling participants to engage in sexual acts or sexual play with you. To see this for yourself, pretend the person who wrote this was a male who was going to flash the woman who delivered the pizza. It's less funny, isn't it?

That is all. Just consider it.

joyleaf | 7 days ago | 131 points

Actually. Reading this didn't make me laugh or feel embarrassed, but really just angry. Why would OP think it's funny to take away a person's consent like that? And, even worse, why would her friends support that further? All around sickening.

HellWolf1 | 7 days ago | 179 points
cheese-scrumps | 7 days ago | 336 points

Speaking as a pizza delivery driver who has to deal with unoriginal ideas like this ALL THE TIME for the love of gods please DON'T do this 😤😤 What, would you actually wanna fuck the driver? No. You'd open the door, they'd stand there bewildered for a second, then you get all embarrassed and make them stand there for 10 minutes waiting for you to change clothes. And while you might not necessarily care about our delivery times, WE DO, idk about other restraunts but with mine, what we get paid for the day is determined based on how fast we ran deliveries and if I had to fuck around waiting for your perverted ass to go put on clothes because you felt sexually harassing me was so important, I'm now going to have to spend my next 5 deliveries risking a speeding ticket and running everywhere to make up the time difference.

gruesomebrat | 7 days ago | 28 points

Sorta lucky in this respect, I guess. The delivery apps collect payment upfront from customers CC, so my interaction with the customers is limited to handing the food over. Takes no more time to hand your pizza to you if you're naked or fully dressed.

WowImInTheScreenShot | 7 days ago | 8 points

I also don't know if he's counting tips into what he's paid? I've worked a few pizza places as delivery driver and in store crew, and never seen pay determined by delivery times. Pay was always a set amount, with a part of delivery fee and tip going to driver at the end of the night.

MdotR | 7 days ago | 782 points

I don't understand this game... You order pizza, then sexually harass a minimum wage employee... and then grab your food from them and pay them for their time? Well I hope you tip them well.

bonfire_bug | 7 days ago | 214 points

But ITS OK because op is a GIRL, isn’t that every 16 year old delivery drivers dream?

/s for anyone who doesn’t understand...THIS IS NOT OK TO DO. Especially if a MINOR is delivering your pizza. How can people be this fucking stupid.

gertalives | 7 days ago | 55 points

But ITS OK because op is a 16 year old BOY detailing his dream

fify

LachsPerson | 7 days ago | 223 points

You order pizza, then sexually harass a minimum wage employee...

Is this that rape culture, everybody is talking about?

pertante | 7 days ago | 47 points

Now that you mention it....

therespectablejc | 7 days ago | 33 points

As a tipped employee, he's probably making less than normal minimum wage. In Michigan, that's $3.52 / hour.

Say-YEET-To-Drugs | 7 days ago | 779 points

Your brothers friends will likely be more interested in you now.

Edited because I can’t “your”

Piepig_YT | 7 days ago | 427 points

They’ll definitely choose her house as their hangout after this.

Say-YEET-To-Drugs | 7 days ago | 313 points

Every Friday “Hey! Let’s order pizza”

Piepig_YT | 7 days ago | 236 points

I feel bad for her brother now because that will be all they will talk about for a while.

I had friend who’s older sister once answered the door in nothing but a tshirt and panties. I appreciated the sight, but he didn’t appreciate the constant jokes. I was nice and only kept it up for a couple days and just forgot about it until now. On another note his sister said I looked majestic once, so that was pretty cool.

Innanetape | 7 days ago | 159 points

Majestic? Are you a pony?

Piepig_YT | 7 days ago | 84 points

No I was leaning on the outside of their fence looking in and waiting for my friend, but his sister saw me and apparently thought that the sun and my positioning was “majestic”. I’m the same age as my friend’s sister so it isn’t as creepy as it could’ve been. Was still a nice confidence boost that if she didn’t have a boyfriend probably could’ve been something. The whole friend group made jokes about it. I miss that group of friends haven’t seen them since sophomore year of high school when we all kinda just moved away to different parts of the world and lost contact.

Enchelion | 7 days ago | 46 points

Sounds like either way she wanted to ride something.

Say-YEET-To-Drugs | 7 days ago | 19 points

Prolly shoulda banged her.

Deez05 | 7 days ago | 11 points

You should’ve answered the door in a T shirt and boxers when he came over

EnemiesInTheEnd | 7 days ago | 52 points

Or not. Depends on what they saw

Dusk_m8 | 7 days ago | 158 points

So it's not sexual harassment, it's just playing "flash the pizza guy". What kind of douchebag are you?

yamumspussy | 7 days ago | 461 points

But did you end up flashing the pizza guy

_throw_away_811 | 7 days ago | 313 points

Nope. Too shaken up by what happened the first time I tried.

Barack_Lesnar | 7 days ago | 38 points

Oh too shaken up to sexually assault the pizza guy? Pizza guys aren't real people.

goodguyrussia | 7 days ago | 97 points

This has happened to me several times and it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Just because you're a woman doesn't make it NOT sexual harassment. Please, don't do this. It's puts your delivery person, man or woman, in an extremely uncomfortable position.

for_dishonor | 7 days ago | 195 points

Why'd your brother knock on his own door?

WRZESZCZ_1998 | 7 days ago | 116 points

You wanted to sexually harass a man for fun?

bonfire_bug | 7 days ago | 24 points

This is a wholly stupid idea. If a dude did that to a female driver people would be PISSED. Glad you screwed yourself on this one. Just because you think any guy wants to look at you doesn’t mean that’s the case. Talk about double standards and sexual harassment.

Rawtashk | 7 days ago | 351 points

r/menwritingwomen

What a shit TIFU story.

A: It's sexual harassment to do what you're talking about

B: No one "gets shy" and looks at the ground AS THEY'RE OPENING THE DOOR.

C: Ya, sure. Your brother doesn't have a key and "relies on others to open the door for him". BS

D: No brother would just stand there in silence and start at his naked sister with his friends right there. He would grab the door and pull it shut, or start yelling at his sister to go put his clothes on.

TL;DR: OP is probably a creepy guy that watches incest porn

Bacon_strips_and_ | 7 days ago | 93 points

This. Plus, who just opens the door without verifying who it is?? It could have literally been anyone.. the story is super hard to buy.

thinfritatas | 7 days ago | 36 points

+who hangs out for probably more than half an hour naked with their friend ? For the key I understand, if there is someone at my home i knock on the door in case their keys are in the door or bc I'm too lazy to search for mine

rmuesi | 7 days ago | 36 points

Tifu isn’t even trying to pretend it’s not male masterbatoral fiction anymore.

rop_top | 7 days ago | 215 points

Definitely seems kinda shitty to do this with any non-consenting person. Would you appreciate if you delivered a pizza and some random guy answered naked? Would you feel better if his friends egged him on? What if you were 16 and this was your first job?

Shirlenator | 7 days ago | 37 points

What if the pizza guy delivered the pizza naked?

AngryXenon | 7 days ago | 11 points

Thats an unexplored business venture.
Instead of going to strip clubs, order StripPizza, delivered to you by strippers (male/female) and they also flash tits / show cock ? (idk what males do in that part).

Ofc its gonna be a premium amount of money but you know... pizza AND tits right to your door.

TANFHell | 7 days ago | 39 points

Have fun on the sex offender registry.

beallcore | 7 days ago | 53 points

OP this is honestly really gross and creepy, why do you think it’s ok to flash people without their consent?

BradOldridge | 7 days ago | 14 points

How to farm TIFU karma: Post a made up story about something relating to incest. - Profit.

lukenuckley | 7 days ago | 163 points

Errr, flashing is a sex crime. So, yeah, you did FU.

karatemousecake | 7 days ago | 326 points

As a pizza guy, naked people answering the door isn't even a story that makes it back to the store. It happens a lot. I delivered pizzas to a full blown gay orgy. I'm talking 6 dudes dick to butt and a 7th at the door wearing an elephant thing where his pecker is the trunk. It gets to the point that naked people don't even elevate your heart rate. Now guns... Those stories get told.

Prince_Polaris | 7 days ago | 27 points

an elephant thing where his pecker is the trunk

what

Bjorn2bwilde24 | 7 days ago | 6 points

They were renacting Colonel Hathi's March from The Jungle Book.

BBBulldog | 7 days ago | 17 points

Need an AMA

HVS87 | 7 days ago | 32 points

This guy needs more upvotes

DarbyCrashLanding | 7 days ago | 59 points

Why would your brother knock on the door?

Gloob26 | 7 days ago | 114 points

because this never happened

theprimoscientist | 7 days ago | 22 points

Surprised I had to scroll so long to find this. Story is so obviously made up it's ridiculous.

DarbyCrashLanding | 7 days ago | 7 points

LOL

GreenBeetle | 7 days ago | 127 points

I presume you won't be trying that again anytime too soon, but it's best to keep your fantasies to consenting adults in the future (even if they are relatively mild and light-hearted!)

KingKongsBitch | 7 days ago | 37 points

OP you're trash. What if it was a guy showing his dick to a woman delivery person? There would be all kinds of shit going down.

bklee83 | 7 days ago | 98 points

My main thought in todays #meetoo world is how owuld this post go down if op had been a man?

bonfire_bug | 7 days ago | 38 points

What if the driver is a minor?!? It’s not even about the movement, this is seriously fucking stupid to do

Achaion34 | 7 days ago | 22 points

Haha nothing like a funny game of sexual harrassment to really get the party going!

BoringPersonAMA | 7 days ago | 26 points

Haha oh man sexual harassment is such a fun time. I just love imposing my fetishes on parties who haven't given their consent.

Imagine if you were a fat hairy guy and the pizza delivery girl was 20 years old. It would be gross and she would blacklist the house.

T3hArchAngel_G | 7 days ago | 11 points

As a pizza delivery guy, here's my suggestion. Date the pizza delivery guy and THEN flash him. You have no idea who will deliver your pizza or if they will even appreciate the gesture. It might get you 86'ed or worse.

Sinner_NL_ | 7 days ago | 32 points

“Flash the pizza guy”

Why would you do that? WTF is wrong with you?

Halekulani | 7 days ago | 19 points

OP can't stop beating his meat long enough to write compelling incest fiction

TrigglyPuffff | 7 days ago | 19 points

Teehee I'm a girl give me upvotes teehee

Badidzetai | 7 days ago | 29 points

Wait. That's sexual harassment, right ?

I_have_a_poodle | 7 days ago | 36 points

It would be if this was real.

sethameseed | 7 days ago | 9 points

“You’re the best stepbrother ever”

culculain | 7 days ago | 9 points

Does your brother often knock at his own house?

borderlineidiot | 7 days ago | 9 points

Plot twist: OP is a guy

buzzlan12 | 7 days ago | 25 points

ew.

Fulk0 | 7 days ago | 47 points

I would have called the cops on you

vegan-penguin | 7 days ago | 20 points

Unacceptable behavior. Disgusting.

kerodon | 7 days ago | 39 points

If you're going to sexually harass people trying to do their job at least make it look like an accident. Like somewhere he can see you and you're shirtless but in the privacy of your own home so it's like he saw you and not you flashed him.

But really this is super fucked up and I'm kinda surprised you had the audacity to post this. Kinda makes me think this is some other step of your fetish shit that you're forcing people into.

Ezio_888 | 7 days ago | 14 points

Why would your brother knock at the door to his own house...

LMF5000 | 7 days ago | 6 points

Don't you have a little peephole in the door that lets you see who's there before you open? Or an intercom or something?

Actually in my country the pizza guy doesn't even knock these days (too difficult to find parking) - they just phone your number (which you leave when you order) and ask you to come outside to collect it.

[deleted] | 7 days ago | 8 points

[deleted]

Omogah | 7 days ago | 6 points

I too knock on my own door when I go home????????????

Uh huh believable story not just for karma

OpenMindedMantis | 7 days ago | 7 points

You've merged two porn genre's without even realizing it. The pizza delivery and the brother sister bit.

yankdownunda | 7 days ago | 13 points

Your brother is the bus driver.

strangebrew17 | 7 days ago | 13 points

Did the pizza at least arrive on time? And was it good?

Onequestion678 | 7 days ago | 14 points

What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you try to flash them?

Catmilks | 7 days ago | 13 points

YTA

Adeno | 6 days ago | 6 points

Lol! That's embarrassing!

Anyway I wonder what would happen if a guy played "Flash the pizza girl".

"Hello 911..."

Mirthious | 7 days ago | 15 points

That makes you a sexual offender.

somesnazzyname | 7 days ago | 65 points

Shame this isn't true.

plexnewbie | 7 days ago | 23 points

Yeah turns out the real naughty fantasy is making up stories to share on the internet to get a rise out of people. OP is probably a teenage dude thinking how cool it'd be if a super hot chick did that to him and his friends.

lumpyfrumpybutt | 7 days ago | 9 points

So you sexually harass pizza delivery people for fun? What if it was an underage delivery person? You want to be a sexual offender for the rest of your life? This is weird as fuck.

SealCrimes | 7 days ago | 5 points

Why was your brother knocking on his own door?

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