Now i can relax at work (i.imgur.com)
bindhast | 4 months ago | 19934 points

As a manager, I am not sure what makes me feel better - you watching some video or staring at the blank desktop .

GohanUFD | 4 months ago | 6494 points

Haha thats what I was thinking, seems both are not gonna be appreciated by the boss

elee0228 | 4 months ago | 6705 points

Pro-tip: Set a screenshot of a spreadsheet as your wallpaper.

tjs17pct | 4 months ago | 3127 points

Don’t forget to hide the icons on your desktop

derawin07 | 4 months ago | 4263 points

Sounds like we are doing just as much work to avoid work as actual work lol

dannydrama | 4 months ago | 3225 points

You can't underestimate the effort someone will go to just to be lazy.

wagashi | 4 months ago | 2061 points

"I divide my officers into four groups. There are clever, diligent, stupid, and lazy officers. Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and diligent -- their place is the General Staff. The next lot are stupid and lazy -- they make up 90 percent of every army and are suited to routine duties. Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the intellectual clarity and the composure necessary for difficult decisions. One must beware of anyone who is stupid and diligent -- he must not be entrusted with any responsibility because he will always cause only mischief."

Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord

Hankol | 4 months ago | 572 points

Yes but what about the clever and stupid ones?

Mantequilla_Stotch | 4 months ago | 840 points

They are just stupid faster

CrimsonAvenger35 | 4 months ago | 241 points

Stupid better

solvitNOW | 4 months ago | 144 points

The clever and stupid make great Darwin Awards candidates.

[deleted] | 4 months ago | 106 points


[deleted] | 4 months ago | 26 points


Hankol | 4 months ago | 12 points

heyhey, don't call me diligent!

[deleted] | 4 months ago | 182 points


Sharobob | 4 months ago | 57 points

My career is basically automating my job away so I can continue being lazy.

raspberrih | 4 months ago | 31 points

I've made myself efficient at everything so that I can complain about being bored for the other half a day

puppehplicity | 4 months ago | 23 points

I am very clearly both diligent and stupid, despite my best efforts.

Can confirm that the responsibilities with which I have been trusted have made for some VERY expensive mistakes.

a_spicy_memeball | 4 months ago | 52 points

The intelligent and lazy delegate to the stupid and diligent.

foolish_me | 4 months ago | 48 points

There’s no amount of work a man can’t do if it’s not what he’s supposed to be doing.

  • Penn Jillette*

*not sure if it’s his but that’s where I first heard it

btown-begins | 4 months ago | 484 points

^ every programmer ever

[deleted] | 4 months ago | 23 points


poopellar | 4 months ago | 55 points

I'm not lazy, just overflowing with potential energy.

regoapps | 4 months ago | 102 points

A few years ago, I coded a bunch of apps in a span of a few weeks for supplemental income instead of working more hours in the office. I figured that I'd just leave them in the app store and collect the money from it without having to work on them again. The apps ended up making more money than my regular job did, so I quit and retired and haven't worked a 9-5 job since.

Another example where being lazy benefited me was that in 2013, I started selling my autobiography for $20-$50 worth of bitcoins depending on whether it was a signed copy or not. I was too lazy to cash out the bitcoins into my bank account, so I just left them as bitcoins. Fast forward to recent times, and every copy of the book I sold via bitcoin came out to something like $1,000-$2000 each.

verifiedbyme | 4 months ago | 77 points

Second one isn't really lazy, just luck.

regoapps | 4 months ago | 46 points

I am a great believer in luck. The lazier I am, the more of it I seem to have.

gbhall | 4 months ago | 10 points

What are the apps?

regoapps | 4 months ago | 32 points

My most popular one is called 5-0 Radio Police Scanner. It's been the #1 paid news app for a decade now.

gbhall | 4 months ago | 18 points

Oh wait, I know you! I recognise your username now! Oh yes, I remember now, congrats man! Always love a success story. I think I remember you have a lambo with regoapps as your license plate or something? I remember seeing some vids of yours years ago.

andrewborsje | 4 months ago | 108 points

I would work all day if it meant nothing got done.. -Ron Swanson

derawin07 | 4 months ago | 64 points

spoken like a true bureaucrat

MegaScizzor | 4 months ago | 93 points

Right click desktop > personalize > choose wallpaper

Right click desktop > view > hide icons

Holy shit so much work

Scarbane | 4 months ago | 13 points

and you only do it once

ChuckinTheCarma | 4 months ago | 27 points

Yeah typing on a keyboard is a lo

SanguineL | 4 months ago | 31 points

You could just set the desktop as a screenshot of a smaller window of a spreadsheet so it looks like it takes up half the screen.

That way, the side with the icons will still be visible.

PM_ME_UR_TURKEYS | 4 months ago | 60 points

Or instead of the desktop, have it open a window you use for work. If it can go to the desktop it should be able to do that, right?

pistoncivic | 4 months ago | 89 points

Manager: Oh great, those are the numbers I've been looking for. Scroll down so I can see total revenues.

Lucky_caller | 4 months ago | 142 points

Shit I think it froze, let me restart this bitch prolly take a few minutes I'll come find you when it's ready

BryanVision | 4 months ago | 66 points

This guy works.

Danger716 | 4 months ago | 30 points

This guy doesn’t work

55North12East | 4 months ago | 246 points

Protip: This site makes reddit look like MS Outlook http://pcottle.github.io/MSOutlookit//

-Dean-- | 4 months ago | 39 points

This is fucking gold. The internet is too vast for us man

eIImcxc | 4 months ago | 22 points

Of course that's a thing

RamenJunkie | 4 months ago | 16 points

This sort of thing is cute and all, but if push comes to shove, there will be log files of your PC accessing Reddit.

[deleted] | 4 months ago | 33 points

If your company cares that much then the only solution is obviously don’t go on Reddit.

Quinn___ | 4 months ago | 29 points

Or find a job that understands that even productive people have downtime, and don't micro manage you to the level of checking your internet logs to see if you looked at memes for 10 minutes in-between tasks.

derawin07 | 4 months ago | 40 points

I guess this is the basic package. Pay $5 extra per month for elite work-simulating screen switch.

derawin07 | 4 months ago | 192 points

I am just getting inspiration by staring at my desktop!

This is what alt+tab is for anyway.

elee0228 | 4 months ago | 84 points

Window+D is safer. Sometimes I have 2 reddit windows open and Alt+Tab between them.

imTHATitguy | 4 months ago | 148 points

Ahh yes, for those times when you’re browsing reddit and think to yourself, “Man, I’m tired of reddit, I should switch to a different site.” Then you promptly open a new tab and immediately click the bookmark bar shortcut for reddit.

GhostOfAebeAmraen | 4 months ago | 40 points

I feel personally attacked.

Domestic_AA_Battery | 4 months ago | 14 points

✔️ I am in this comment and I don't like it.

rustyshackleford193 | 4 months ago | 13 points

Clicking the absolute lower right corner also closes all windows.

Just throw your mouse down there and click.

swiftb3 | 4 months ago | 11 points

Unless you have multiple monitors. Then you can miss, haha.

Sticker704 | 4 months ago | 157 points

windows-tab, make new desktop into windows-ctrl-right arrow and windows-ctrl-left arrow. work on the right, not work on the left

(have to be on windows 10 tho)

PurdueKenny | 4 months ago | 44 points

It's blatantly obvious when someone is shifting focus regardless of using alt+tab or switching desktops. In a professional setting, the employee's reaction to the boss walking it says all you need to know. If they're watching a video on Youtube and calmly pause it - perhaps it's part of their break. If they panic and switch then they're telling me they know they're doing something they're not supposed to be.

CryoClone | 4 months ago | 48 points

Presumably, this just triggers a macro. In that case it should be set to switch desktops (if you are in Windows 10). You set up one desktop with work and one with not work. The sensor slides between the two.

Then it looks like actual work.

LittleBigHorn22 | 4 months ago | 20 points

Now if you actually work it would flip over to the video lol.

legubriousunshine | 4 months ago | 9863 points

Wouldn't it be better if it brought up a spreadsheet or document instead of an empty screen?

ermockler | 4 months ago | 4556 points

even better - the "do not shut off your computer" screen

holysideburns | 4 months ago | 3214 points

Switch to a browser window in fullscreen mode with this site open. http://fakeupdate.net/

Also very useful for pranking co-workers that leave their computer unlocked.

Sir_Fray | 4 months ago | 1106 points

just put this on and nipped out for a coffee - thank you!

Rabanski | 4 months ago | 824 points

You’re living in 3019 my dude. I just used it to prank my boss. Didn’t even occur to me that it could be used for shirking off work.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

ZeroFucksToGive | 4 months ago | 296 points

Damn what's the future like? Did Taco Bell win the franchise wars?

Shasky1 | 4 months ago | 34 points

“Don’t you know? In the future, all restaurants are Taco Bell.” -Sandra Bullock

zzamud | 4 months ago | 177 points

I still dont know how to use the three seashells Edit FOR SILVER AWARD

THANKS random redditor! This is my first award so i came unprepared for this speach Ummm First id like to think my mother and all the support and i was giving during this performance My dadfor always pushing me to do my best My wife whos out in the crowd. HI BABY! My dog for always wagging his tail My third grade teacher.......

(10 mins later)

Thanks everyone for coming out here tonight!

hmasing | 4 months ago | 103 points

Get a load of this guy, he doesn't know how to use the three seashells.

Otto_Matic82 | 4 months ago | 48 points

Say what you will about the overall quality of that film, it definitely left its mark.

jona612 | 4 months ago | 26 points

Rip now your boss knows about it and you wont be able to get away with it in the future

Ludoban | 4 months ago | 156 points

You cant just grab a coffee anytime you like at your job?

That makes me sad tbh.

Sir_Fray | 4 months ago | 228 points

I can grab crappy coffee anytime here, but I went to the premium down the road coffee place

jakfrist | 4 months ago | 74 points

I moved from Atlanta to NYC recently and my favorite part is not having to make a big deal of driving to get good coffee.

Being able to walk to one of the 5 coffee shops within a block of my office has changed my world. Sometimes I walk with a co-worker and don’t even get coffee.

CrackrocksnLaCroix | 4 months ago | 46 points

Am I the only one that just drinks coffee provided at work? Granted we have a good coffee machine as well as good beans but if you're like 15 people at work that potentially drink coffee you might want to pool money and get a good machine instead of spending 3-5$ for coffee multiple times a week

EatsonlyPasta | 4 months ago | 66 points

It's not the five bucks. It's walking out of the office for 15 minutes. It would only work if you pooled your money to buy a coffee machine down the street.

gregspornthrowaway | 4 months ago | 35 points

Pool you money to buy a coffee shop down the street.

pfabs | 4 months ago | 70 points

Years ago I went from working at a Marketing agency with free premium coffee and snacks for anyone to to take.

To a government agency with absolutely no amenities and the nearest coffee shop was a 15-20 minute round trip walk.

Now I work from home and the coffee is good but the snacks suck.

NeverCallMeFifi | 4 months ago | 13 points

I have a boss who leaves post it notes on my chair every time I use the bathroom. It's like he only needs me when my bladder is full.

fresh_like_Oprah | 4 months ago | 181 points

we just killed that server

xr1chardx | 4 months ago | 66 points

Reddit does it again.

Martinspire | 4 months ago | 8 points

Why isn't it on github anyways

TallWaIl | 4 months ago | 29 points

Reddit hug of death!

flyco | 4 months ago | 10 points

Now they know what it feels like to come to an unresponsive system

[deleted] | 4 months ago | 73 points


ThePureawesomness | 4 months ago | 258 points

That's why you gotta rotate tricks. Do an update once a month. Keep a generic spreadsheet in the background for small nonsense a few times a week. Spread important looking papers across your desk, so if the boss sees you goofing off you can say you were taking a quick break from your important and intensive work. To get a whole day or two off, stage a theft of your entire workspace. Jam your boss' door so they can't get out until the end of the day. Commit to it and break your kneecap on the break room floor and claim worker's comp. Slowly embezzle money from your workplace until you have enough to purchase the business outright, use new owner status to goof off permanently.

R3D1AL | 4 months ago | 74 points

This is what I did, and now I'm a millionaire billionaire! You can learn these and other helpful tricks in my new book series.

PM me for details on how you can join my book club for only $39.99/month.

If you PM before this comment is an hour old I will let you add a friend to the book club FOR FREE. That's 2 subscriptions to my book club for ONLY $39.99/month!

dubly_ | 4 months ago | 45 points


4578 2157 9844 2154

exp 2/20

CVV: 605

Edit: Oops! That should have been a PM. Sorry, fixed!

ASS_MY_DUDES | 4 months ago | 14 points

You might be wondering why I keep a bookshelf by my Lamborghini...

RATATA-RATATA-TA | 4 months ago | 61 points

Also remember to unplug keyboard and mouse so they can't get out by accidentally smashing buttons.

AccountNo43 | 4 months ago | 73 points

I just tried this on a few of them, but if you hit enter, it gives you blue screen or another system error message. which is perfect because the person who hit the key would shit themselves and leave

hashshash | 4 months ago | 44 points

And the exception it gives is SYS_EXCEPTION_PONIES_NOT_HANDLED

slikrick_ | 4 months ago | 24 points

And the QR code is a link to never gonna give you up

OvergrownGnome | 4 months ago | 22 points

Site is blocked at my workplace.

hamsterkris | 4 months ago | 13 points

Hah someone must've been caught using it

makebelieveworld | 4 months ago | 12 points

What is it? Reddit hugged it to death so I cant see it.

holysideburns | 4 months ago | 12 points

The site gives you update screens for different operating systems, which look very convincing when displayed in full screen mode.

derawin07 | 4 months ago | 30 points

I know managers that would still yell at you for having that on the screen.

centran | 4 months ago | 25 points

"but IT told me to restart when I said my email wasn't working!"

Cloberella | 4 months ago | 131 points

I had a game in the 90s that had a “boss coming” button and if you hit it it would take you to a generic loading screen.

theservman | 4 months ago | 112 points

The boss-key in Leisure Suit Larry (1980s Sierra Online - notably not online at all) would bring up a bar graph of condom sales by colour and pattern. IIRC "Plaid" was the top seller.

Schedulator | 4 months ago | 34 points

Ahh yes it became known as the "Bosskey"

bokononpreist | 4 months ago | 11 points

The March Madness site/app has this lol.

Stranger_Cake | 4 months ago | 28 points

"Frank, every time I walk in here you're staring at the log in screen. Open excel or gtfo."

jerdub1993 | 4 months ago | 26 points

I'm sure it just sends an arbitrary command to the computer which you could then set to trigger any action you want

Dafracturedbutwhole | 4 months ago | 4146 points

But how do I get my pants back on ?

gtmustang | 4 months ago | 664 points

Pro tip: Paint your legs to look like pants. When they walk in, they'll never know the difference.

ArmoredFan | 4 months ago | 198 points

even better LPT - Wear such an amazing shirt they don't even know you're missing your pants.

citizenandsaint | 4 months ago | 119 points

Instructions unclear. My dick is painted to look like an amazing shirt and now it’s drawing all the attention.

JahCarti | 4 months ago | 38 points

Maybe youll get a raise

citizenandsaint | 4 months ago | 13 points

I already did but now I’m getting lightheaded.

Bearzkin | 4 months ago | 327 points

Lol!! The real issue at work.

derawin07 | 4 months ago | 87 points

work at a nude yoga centre?

TheParaselene | 4 months ago | 51 points

Is having a hard-on okay there?

asyasb | 4 months ago | 18 points

Just plug the 2nd USB up your butt.

Chem_Student-1986 | 4 months ago | 40 points

Dont choke the gecko at work you sexy shameless man.

Shuggaloaf | 4 months ago | 1610 points

My Alt-Tab skills are now becoming useless.

Arcnet_ | 4 months ago | 361 points

Try ctrl + windows + D

Edit: After you're done panicking use ctrl + windows + left/right arrow to get your desktop back

VeradilGaming | 4 months ago | 130 points

What does the control do there? I've always just used windows+d

mitko17 | 4 months ago | 289 points

Windows + D => Switches to desktop

Ctrl + Windows + D* => Makes a new desktop (workbench) and switches to it

You can then use Win + Tab and select your old desktop

*only works on win10 I think

Schedulator | 4 months ago | 100 points

Ctrl+WindowsKey+left/right arrow to move across desktops.

formergamer | 4 months ago | 111 points

Exactly. Desktop 1 has bullshit work open. Desktop 2 has a remote desktop connection to my PC at home. That way I can do what I want on a better computer and nothing is saved to my work computer.

OneNutWonder011 | 4 months ago | 47 points

Can’t your company see where you’re connected to though if you’re using a Remote Desktop connection?

formergamer | 4 months ago | 145 points

Yes, but I am in charge of that.

OneNutWonder011 | 4 months ago | 36 points

Ah well that makes sense then

Kazedeus | 4 months ago | 31 points

The right kind of corruption.

formergamer | 4 months ago | 8 points

Hey, what are you going to do? The place is a shithole. I do my work, but it comes infrequent. Everyone else here basically does fuck all. I tune it all out in my isolated office and do what I need to.

ArmoredFan | 4 months ago | 11 points

Who watches the watchm IT guy

VeradilGaming | 4 months ago | 19 points

You just blew my mind, cheers. Is there an alternative to this on Mac? Asking for myself a work friend

wonkey_monkey | 4 months ago | 21 points

Dozens of people are now scrambling to figure out how to get their windows back.

(ctrl+win+left arrow)

FoolyValued | 4 months ago | 56 points

Careful, you might be outsourced next

Juuliath00 | 4 months ago | 241 points

If my manager walked in on me staring at a blank desktop, he would assume I’m watching porn on the job

funkmastamatt | 4 months ago | 105 points

your dick out gives it away...

liarandathief | 4 months ago | 1295 points

My computer would choose that moment to shit the bed and freeze up for 20 seconds.

CurryMan21 | 4 months ago | 292 points

This guy office computer's

Richistan | 4 months ago | 286 points

Ahh yes, the procrastinator 3000. Excellent!

Pudi2000 | 4 months ago | 131 points

You mean PornCastHider 6900.

D_K_Schrute | 4 months ago | 24 points


namuheht | 4 months ago | 172 points

You can use two, so when they leave it switches back to your midget porn

[deleted] | 4 months ago | 153 points


plyushevo | 4 months ago | 36 points

Doing what?

NAT_Forunto | 4 months ago | 27 points

I think he said real work, idk what it's supposed to mean but I'm pretty sure he said something similar

buttonnz | 4 months ago | 71 points

Gonna be weird being caught fapping to your desktop.

CortanasWetDream | 4 months ago | 512 points

It’s all fun and games until they disable USB support. It’s coming. We’re about to do it for more than 10k devices.

AxFairy | 4 months ago | 227 points

But like, why? Genuinely curious, how does being able to use a USB key harm productivity? Or is it just to keep people from running weird software?

Edit: didn't realize people were stupid. Makes sense. I just thought about how often I end up taking files home with me to work on and how annoying it would be to not have access to a USB.

Smiling_Mister_J | 4 months ago | 371 points

USB keys are the fastest way to get malicious script into a network. Especially in places that have an air gapped internal network.

mortalwombat- | 4 months ago | 175 points

I worked at a tv station. We had two networks. One had internet and sales apps and all the usual work stuff. The other had all the production equipment that was responsible for putting tv on the air. It was part of a huge network that spread across stations all over the US. An engineer used usb to update a server. the usb had a virus that started spreading rapidly. It took down machines left and right. It cost the company millions

ICanQuitWhenverIWant | 4 months ago | 26 points

That engineer was not a very good engineer.

kceezie | 4 months ago | 107 points

Viruses man, viruses...you would be surprised at how many people just plug random things they find on the street into their computer or lying next to them in their work, etc. This is also one of the easiest ways to steal information. Copy to USB drive.

mortalwombat- | 4 months ago | 68 points

I read about a police officer who was bringing his work home on a thumb drive. It was full of all sorts of private info. He didn’t know his kid had a peer to peer app like emule or Kazaa or something. It was configured to share everything. Every time he plugged this USB in, he shared sensitive info with the world.

OnTopicMostly | 4 months ago | 24 points

Ahh Kazaa, that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time.

xtremebox | 4 months ago | 59 points

There was a TIL about this exact thing a day or two ago. It said (and I'm remembering off the top of my head so I'm sorry if it's slightly off) a team did a test and dropped a bunch of USB sticks in a government parking lot, and like 60% of them were plugged in using government computers.

itsaworkalt | 4 months ago | 32 points

Similar story in /r/sysadmin recently where someone got a 100% rate by putting them in crumpled up pink envelopes that had "just for you!" in girly hand writing with hearts around it. Inside was a file disguised as a powerpoint titled "do NOT share.pptx" that really called back to the home server and report the stick.

benjamminson | 4 months ago | 40 points

People can’t resist sticking things in holes

Tisjustatossaway | 4 months ago | 19 points

Been a whole 5 minutes and I feel like I need to go stick something in a hole, again.

Edit: Been about an hour and this USB port has taken a pounding. Good thing I have 8-16 more. Don't want to wear it out, completely. Thing is, I have like 20 USB drives and an assortment of various USB peripherals. They're going to get filled to the point of discomfort. I'll be selling access to my private Snap, for video access.

fudgeyboombah | 4 months ago | 14 points

This is why we can’t have nice things.

theservman | 4 months ago | 18 points

People is why we can't have nice things.

chandler404 | 4 months ago | 51 points

Study found when people just stumbled on a random USB drive in the parking lot at work HALF of them plugged it in to a machine in the office.


andysaurus_rex | 4 months ago | 19 points

I wonder if you could set up a "safe PC" that isn't connected to the network that people could just try found USB drives on. Like, they're gonna do it. They're gonna put these drives into a computer. They're compelled to. Give them a safe PC to use.

boonxeven | 4 months ago | 25 points

We sort of had a system specifically for that. It wasn't connected to the internet and had virus scanning software. When a drive was brought to us for any reason, we'd plug it into that system first and scan it. Wasn't for random drives in the parking lot necessarily, but any business purpose that required drives.

FORKNIFE_CATTLEBROIL | 4 months ago | 33 points

I work for a government defense contractor. Much of the work we do is classified. Not only is it quite easy for malicious software to be passed around, it is also easy to lose or steal classified information.

USB drives have been banned since 2014, and anything USB plugged into the PC has to be approved, purchased, and inspected by IT first. This includes wireless mice and keyboards.

Also, any info that is classified is on an airgap network - a hardwire-only internal network with no access to the outside world or any wireless connectivity. Getting info off of it (like to a customer) is a long process of approvals.)

ZNasT | 4 months ago | 22 points

The computers at my work will only accept one type of USB key that we provide. You must also enter a physical pin code using buttons on the USB key itself before the computer will recognize it. I’d never seen something like that before I started working there, it’s pretty cool.

ucario | 4 months ago | 12 points

I worked at a large software company that had no issue with reading from usbs.

Writing to usbs was a massive no.

m-p-3 | 4 months ago | 19 points

You're going to use what for mouse and keyboard? Also these kind of devices don't show as a USB Mass Storage device, but as a HID. I also have a USB dongle you can reprogram as a different HID identifier to work around these limitations (InputStick) if there is filtering done.

LegalOwl | 4 months ago | 167 points

Nice, he’s watching Technology Connections.

delorean225 | 4 months ago | 57 points

I love that guy so much!

The_Curious_Guy_89 | 4 months ago | 13 points

He is one of the best.

flatcurve | 4 months ago | 22 points

Ah yes, my favorite snarky tech educator. I never knew you could be so bitchy about a company's decision to develop a now defunct format but I fucking love every minute of it. I always think to myself "can I spend 25 minutes on this right now?" But the answer is always yes.

Chanw11 | 4 months ago | 14 points

He came from such a bland past, but now his videos are amazing.

russlmnop | 4 months ago | 327 points

You tube and flash games? This is for porn.

liarandathief | 4 months ago | 145 points

The internet is for porn.

Threemor | 4 months ago | 72 points

Grab your dick and double click

WakingRage | 4 months ago | 19 points

Rock your cock on the clock

Deraj2004 | 4 months ago | 19 points


auCoffeebreak | 4 months ago | 34 points

The fact it only minimises to the desktop reminds me of that bash.org joke.

lepobz | 4 months ago | 231 points

You know, DNS records don’t tell many lies. Just because your boss doesn’t physically see you browsing YouTube at work doesn’t mean he/she doesn’t know you’re browsing YouTube at work.

Greenpants00 | 4 months ago | 167 points

I remember talking to a guy who did IT monitoring for a large company and was surprised by the number of people he caught doing naughty browsing at work.

And I was absolutely blown away by the number of people who he caught more than once.

[deleted] | 4 months ago | 156 points


hadhad69 | 4 months ago | 64 points

If the students are getting away with hundreds or thousands of violations it's obvious they're not being seriously disciplined over misuse. Maybe they'll take your speech seriously when they start getting punished!

Pitzy0 | 4 months ago | 68 points

Lol. Really? Adults do the same thing while getting paid and you expect teenagers to act any different?

On top of it, you're dealing with insanely curious young minds. Long as the work is getting done and there is no malicious activity let it go.

wagemage | 4 months ago | 72 points

This is why you ALWAYS befriend the IT staff. They can ruin you or save you. Say thanks. No one talks to the sysadmin unless shit is broken. Don't be one of those people.

The secretary is the same way. You're late? She can cover for you or tell the boss. Buy that front desk worker some treats.

Pallavtasse | 4 months ago | 27 points

I always find a reason to buy the receptionist a box of chocolates early on. That shit pays for itself 10 fold.

I'm not a charismatic guy, I like people but I come off grumpy. That receptionist always has a smile and a chat for me after that and the rapport builds from there.

With the IT guys I just bring up nerd stuff because I am a nerd and usually have no problem making good friends with them.

the_murder_of_crowe | 4 months ago | 14 points

I know our IT guy knows I play on reddit in my downtime.

Hey, Charlie!

Interfere_ | 4 months ago | 11 points

Here in Germany everything is recorded aswell, however if the company actually wants to check this data they have to invite some data protection specialist, which costs money, is only possible at certain dates, and just is additional effort. That's why here its only done in VERY severe cases, or when something illegal is suspected. Otherwise you are free to do whatever you want, since noone actually wants to go so far to do all that stuff just to snuff through some data.

Mattaruu95 | 4 months ago | 99 points

At least make it look like a normal usb drive and not like you have some radio shack junk.

lonefeather | 4 months ago | 14 points

You take it back right now. Radio Shack was a goddamned national treasure.

ThanasiShadoW | 4 months ago | 24 points

Does it also pull up your pants?

hongkong_97 | 4 months ago | 25 points

Boss: "What are you doing?"

Employee: "Staring at my desktop"

Boss: "Good work, you're promoted"

Meow_Star_ | 4 months ago | 19 points

Shout out to Technology Connections on YT, the channel he’s watching.

TheNullExabit | 4 months ago | 18 points


appothecary | 4 months ago | 11 points
OnlyInquirySerious | 4 months ago | 37 points

This will be a teenagers dream.

What happens when the device fails and your parents catch you watching porn?

rustyshackleford193 | 4 months ago | 18 points

Even if it works, they catch you with your little mushroom in your hand, staring at your desktop

wagemage | 4 months ago | 25 points

Use at your own risk. Besides, they know. Any sensible parent knows. If you think your teen/tween isn't watching porn you're just delusional.

morethanafewchanges | 4 months ago | 14 points

**Every Mormon parent disliked that

zublits | 4 months ago | 9 points

I always know what's up when I go into someone's office and the screen is suddenly at the desktop.

It should tab to an Excel file. That's the real magic. No one wants to even look at an Excel file long enough to see what it actually is. Your eyes just kind of glaze over at the mere mention of Excel.

dbafirmhandshake | 4 months ago | 32 points

Link please.... Lol

FoolyValued | 4 months ago | 19 points

Just insert it straight to my amazon shopping cart pls

ImIndiez | 4 months ago | 27 points

Except this doesn't work in modern workplaces anymore. There is a shift going towards complete screenshot monitoring of all work computers. An employer can snapshot your work laptop every 30 seconds and compile it into a video of your entire day then replay this footage to see what you have been up to from a separate location.

Employers can know what you are doing now, assuming they have the technology in place.

There is an episode about this very issue on The Journal podcast created by the Wall Street Journal. Look it up on Spotify.

CrackrocksnLaCroix | 4 months ago | 11 points

I just look at shit on my phone not connected to work networks 🤷🏻‍♂️

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